Does The Album Have To Be So Emotionally Fulfilling?

by trickywicket

We’ve asked you boys here because we have some concerns about the new album.

I can only speak for myself here, and I mean you no offense, but: does it have to be so catchy?

Hell, I felt this thing in my nuts. Those hooks, that beat. I almost danced.

And obviously you know that’s a problem.

I just don’t want people thinking that we at Twinge Records deal in easily digested, proficiently produced, or pleasing music.

Everyone knows that hits are, well, a little cheap. If we aren’t careful, this album could have eleven of them.

You all know the old saying: throw four monkeys in a room, and in about a week, you’ve got Revolver.

Guys, I’m worried that we could be treading some dangerous territory.

On the first track, for instance, I noticed that your vocals are pretty much completely in range and on key. I wish you’d put a little more thought into that.

Is there a way you could do it in a kind of broken-spirited falsetto or otherwise a really heavily nasal drawl? Ideally, the listener would find it super-annoying on the first ten or so listens. The messaging needs to be something along the lines of “I can’t sing, not in a classical sense, but I’m sure as hell going to try.”

Also, I noticed the album doesn’t have any haphazard, muddled, and meandering guitar solos. Was that intentional? We’ve got a guy, Jarturo, who can fill that stuff in, that’s not too much of a problem. We just give him some mushrooms and a few hours in the studio. No, no, don’t worry. He went to Oberlin.

On to the next note here… the last track is four minutes long, and then that’s it. The album just ends. I’m thinking we can put in, like, thirty-seven minutes of a static buzz, followed by a minute-long free verse poem on top of some banjo noodling? Yeah. Name it after a passage from a Joan Didion piece or something? Great.

I don’t mean to break balls, but we need to make the blogs here, folks.

Some really obvious things– the album’s title is two words long. How about something a little more esoteric, like felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas? Otherwise, just grab something off a placard at the Met. Not a title, but like, eighteen random words from the artist description. You don’t want to be perceived as pandering to hoi polloi or anything.

Really quick additions that we can blow through this week: string section (duh), accompanying dissonant remix EP, multi-song narrative suite about urban planning, a song or two in Spanish, and, if you really want to get some buzz going, let’s get some outsider folk art for the cover?

I know this all sounds like a lot of work, but trust me, you don’t want to walk into a bar someday and hear your music blasting over a bunch of community college dropouts.