1. This year I read the first 129 pages of Swann’s Way [and 56 pages of Moby Dick] and no one knew.
I also watched, in its entirety, BBC’s Downton Abbey. All bazillion-and-three hours of it.
And sure, I posted about it on Facebook, and that comment got 12 likes and 6 comments. But what if someone doesn’t go back that far in my Timeline? They’ll have no idea.
Also, what about the 5k I’m training for? I hit a new Personal Best on Friday, not counting the break I took after the third kilometer. No one knew about my progress.
This year is going to be different.
I resolve to erect numerous, elaborate, and exhaustive online monuments to myself. This week, I’m going to sign up for Fitocracy, Goodreads, Instagram, Foursquare, Last.fm, and Spotify, so people can keep up with all of my choices, preferences, and adventures.
Also, is there somewhere I can post pictures of all the meals I cook and the knitting I do?
I’m tired of my fellow network nodes making erroneous assumptions about my music taste, workout habits, and reading patterns. The other day, Thaddeus asked me if I’d seen Au Revoir Simone live. Duh, I tweeted about it in October, idiot.
What am I supposed to do, update everyone about everything individually? Christ.
2. Be a better friend.
3. Update my iPhone and Playstation 3 more regularly. Yesterday I noticed I had left 21 iPhone apps that weren’t current. Who knows what new features and widgets and objectives I’ve been missing out on?
I am denying myself a better, more connected life by procrastinating these updates! It’s ridiculous!
4. Get outside more often.
5. I need to care a lot less about what people think of me. My therapist says I share too much publicly because I have an addiction to external validation.
6. Get more traffic to my blog.