That Amazonian Chief Guy Sure Looks Sad. He Should Take Some Ayahuasca. I Hear That Shit Is Dope.

by trickywicket

You see that picture of that old South American Indian online?

No, not Mexico.

I think it was like, Brazil or Peru or Paraguay?

My friend Caleb shared it. He’s really down with um, social issues, you know? All his shares are about, like, feminism and gay marriage and the ninety-nine percent.

You know those pictures that look like motivational posters? A lot of things that look like that, but they’re photoshopped.

He was so mad about Chris Brown performing at the Grammys, for instance. You should have heard him! He was all like “Michael Vick can never work again, but we let Chris Brown on the Grammys!”

Caleb’s good, man. Totally committed to the cause, man.

He has a pit bull.

Wears a bandanna.

No, the pit bull wears the bandanna.

I think he’s an organizer for Greenpeace?

Caleb. Not the pit bull.

He collects signatures and stuff. The only thing that’s scary is that he can be super convincing, you know, because of his job? Last time I hung out with him I ended up paying for the whole pizza, ha ha ha.

Right, so the Indian guy.

Yeah, he’s wearing, like, a yellow feather headdress, right?  No shirt, and he’s crying his eyes out.

Just weeping, yeah. He’s sitting at a city council meeting or something, hearing his, like, fate, I guess.

Yeah, without a shirt.

I guess they didn’t have that sign up. No dude, I shouldn’t joke about that.

It’s fucking sad, man.

I think, like, developers were going to take over his land or some bullshit. Building a nuclear power plant on top of his homeland, and his people are going to have to find somewhere else to live.

And dude, those people have been there for thousands of years. It’s not fair at all. We could be building windfarms and stuff, but we’re polluting and destroying everything. What the fuck is wrong with us?

Dude it made me feel so bad.

Have you ever been down there?

I have a friend, yeah, he went down there last summer. He tried this ayahuasca stuff.

It’s a tea, but it’s also the most powerful hallucinogenic substance known to mankind. This guy said he tripped his sack off. Saw God as a bird in a cosmic tree who was calling to him from his own inner moral core.

If you were that chief, you could be taking that stuff all the time.

Dude, drugs literally grow on trees down there.

No obviously it won’t change the power plant thing.

That’s still totally fucked.